ABBREVIATIONS BY STUDENTS

We go to school,
To attend "CLASS".

C.L.A.S.S.=
Come Late And Sleep Silently.

At home,
We have to "STUDY".

S.T.U.D.Y.=
Sleep, Tv, Unlimited - sms, Dota, Youtube.

In class,
we're given "HOMEWORK".

H.O.M.E.W.O.R.K=
Half Of My Energy Wasted On Random Knowledge.

While doing homework,
we refer to "TEXTBOOK".

TEXTBOOK=
TEXTing + faceBOOK.....

Happy Study Year! :)

FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT WITHOUT MBA

One day a beggar found 100 rupees.

He went to the five star hotel for lunch.

After the lunch,
Bill came Rs.3000/-.

Beggar was unable to pay the bill.

Manager cry and handed him to police!

He gave Rs.50/- to police-man and free.

It is called financial management without MBA.

DEFINITION OF TIME

Definition of TIME....!

Slow...
When You wait.

Fast...
When you're afraid.

Long...
When you're sad.

Short...
When you're happy.

Endless...
When you're at pain.

Never feel it...
When you're content.

Deadly...
When you're bored.

BEFORE IT'S START

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work,
Plops down on the couch in front of the television,
And tells his wife,
Get me a beer before it starts.

The wife sighs and gets him a beer.

Fifteen minutes later,
He says,
Get me another beer before it starts.

She looks cross,
But fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.

He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says,
Quick,
Get me another beer,
It is going to start any minute.

Men watching tv.

The wife is furious.
She yells at him,
Is that all you are going to do tonight?
Drink beer and sit in front of that TV?
You are nothing but a lazy,
Drunken,
Fat slob and furthermore.

The man sighs and says,
It is started.

THREE WISHES

Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish are out walking along the beach together one day.

They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I will give you each one wish,
That's three wishes in total",
Says the Genie.

The Scottish guy says,
"I am a fisherman,
My Dad's a fisherman,
His Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too.
I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity."

So,
With a blink of the Genie's eye "FOOM",
The oceans were teaming with fish.

The Englishman was amazed,
So he said,
"I want a wall around England, protecting her,
So that no one will get in for all eternity."

Again,
With a blink of the Genie's eye "POOF",
There was a huge wall around England.

The Irishman asks,
"I'm very curious.
Please tell me more about this wall."

The Genie explains,
"Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick,
Protecting England so that nothing can get in or out."

The Irishman says,
"Fill it up with water."

BILL GATES AT THE BEACH

Bill Gates is at the beach when he discovers a bottle in the surf.

He pulls out the cork and a Genie appears.
The Genie says,
I have been trapped for 100 years.
As a reward you can make a wish.

Gates thinks about it as he carries the bottle back to his beach cottage.
Once there,
He goes to a bookshelf,
Pulls out an atlas and turns to a map of the Middle East.
This area has seen conflict and suffering for hundreds of years.
What i wish for is peace in the Middle East.

The Genie replies,
I do not know I can do a lot,
But this?
Do not you have another wish?

Bill Gates thinks and finally says,
OK.
The whole world hates Microsoft because we have conquered the software market and because Windows still crashes.
I wish you would make everybody love us.

The Genie says,
Let me see that map again.

MOSQUITO AND DOG LOVE STORY

There was a mosquito and a dog who loved each other a lot.

One day the mosquito got excited and gave a love bite to the dog.

The dog became emotional and returned the love bite to the mosquito.

The next day,
Mosquito died of rabies and dog died of malaria.

What a touching story!!!